As an adult in a blended family we’re given plenty of opportunities to think we’ve got it tough, but what about the kids? Children in a blended family have gone through two major upheavals in their short life. Firstly the loss of their bio parent’s relationship and secondly the formation of the new blended family, both of which they have had little or no say in. Now some children respond more positively to blending than others; their age can have some bearing on this. If a child in your family isn’t welcoming of a stepsibling, don’t allow put-downs to go unnoticed. Take them aside (so they don’t feel shamed) and address the undesirable behavior. Have some clearly defined family values and use the opportunity to reinforce them, e.g. “In our family we treat each other with respect by …”.
Here's your chance to help others by sharing what you’ve done to help build positive stepsibling relationships in your blended family. We look forward to your response!
Warm regards
Adele Cornish BSW
Blended Family Advisor
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Blended Family Success: Speaking from experience...
Today I’ll share with you some advice I received from a women regarding what she’s learnt from her experience:
“A counselor told me my children are mine to discipline and to raise. If there should be any issues, my spouse should bring them to me and we should discuss them and come to a resolve before we change anything or discuss issues with my kids. At times, I was so frustrated because I felt like I was alone in raising my kids but in end this style was right on. My spouse did not discipline my children, I did. He did not make changes and demands on my children, I did. This way he was never the "bad step-parent". I know at times this is hard for my new current spouse but it truly has helped in the transition of becoming a blended family. My step-children do not know my frustration, changes in the home or how I feel over certain situations. This enables us to have a better relationship.”
What are your thoughts on this approach? Have you tried it? Do you agree with it? I look forward to your response.
Warm regards
Adele Cornish BSW
Blended Family Advisor
“A counselor told me my children are mine to discipline and to raise. If there should be any issues, my spouse should bring them to me and we should discuss them and come to a resolve before we change anything or discuss issues with my kids. At times, I was so frustrated because I felt like I was alone in raising my kids but in end this style was right on. My spouse did not discipline my children, I did. He did not make changes and demands on my children, I did. This way he was never the "bad step-parent". I know at times this is hard for my new current spouse but it truly has helped in the transition of becoming a blended family. My step-children do not know my frustration, changes in the home or how I feel over certain situations. This enables us to have a better relationship.”
What are your thoughts on this approach? Have you tried it? Do you agree with it? I look forward to your response.
Warm regards
Adele Cornish BSW
Blended Family Advisor
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